and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
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I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
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I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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