her vagine was all disorganized.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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