I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
