Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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