He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
