so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
