I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I could make wine with my vomit
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
