Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
