I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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