Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
