my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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