I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you will always have a special place in my vag
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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