So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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