Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
