ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
