Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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