I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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