Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
