Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
