i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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