Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
