what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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