I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
