No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
