I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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