What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
