Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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