it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
