Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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