good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
