I'd wear matching sweaters with you
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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