break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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