Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize