I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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