I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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