Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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