think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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