Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
