Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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