Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
