is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize