We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
