absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
