I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
