The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
