Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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