Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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