is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
