I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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