I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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