I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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