How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
