If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
