Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
