can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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