I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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