but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
All I want is dick and wine.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
