I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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