Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
