Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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