tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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