so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize