He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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