i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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