Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
