I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
