I am puke
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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